Since I originally wrote this post, we’ve had one more addition to our family; she’s 18 months old now and flings plates (and bowls) like frisbees. She’s been on melamine but now, with courage plus a broom at the ready, we’re breaking out the good stuff. And breaking is probably just the right word. Wish us luck.
THE TIME HAS COME. There are two things that I keep reading about: an inspiring Montessori approach to eating, and weird news stories about BPA.
That’s why I decided to pack up the plastic dishes this week. The new ones are glass (gulp), porcelain (double gulp) and metal (actually, good for gulping). They’re designed to teach little kids good eating habits, without exposing them to chemicals along the way.
It’s pretty popular here in the US (and indeed all the Montessori preschools in our part of North Carolina are full), but the Montessori approach to eating involves giving even the littlest kids real glasses, plates and utensils so they can truly learn how to master them. The logic goes like this: If a plastic glass falls off the table and doesn’t break, the consequences are fewer than they would be with glass. I’ll say!
It’s not for the faint of heart though.
A friend of mine who lives in Amsterdam sent his daughter to a local Montessori preschool and cringed when he told us about visiting for lunch one day. “They all use glasses, real glasses, and set the table themselves. Everyone’s wearing a little apron. Sure enough, a cup crashes on the floor about five seconds after we get there, and there’s glass everywhere. But they just clean it right up and carry on.” He thought it was really stressful, and I don’t blame him.
But it’s also about trust. Audrey Butters says in her blog I heart Montessori, “Real plates, bowls and glasses portray to the child ‘You are trusted’ and build confidence.” Along those lines, our kids love doing everything that mom and dad do, even more than they like drinking out of a monkey sippy cup.
I actually love our new glasses, the tiniest (cutest) little juice glasses I’ve ever seen
(and jelly jars would also work too) and best of all, they’re quite sturdy. We have 3 very small people (3 1/2, 2 and 9 months though he has help) drinking out of them, spilling them, and picking them up off the floor. So far, nary a break*.
*Update, baby George DID break 2 of these glasses. He banged them against the granite counter at just the right angle and kapow! It was not great and for a while he did have to use a less shatter-able cup. But now he’s back.
The plates are brand new so I have less to report on so far, though I do suspect they’re easier to shatter*. That’s okay though. They’re also less expensive (a set of 12 salad/dessert plates from Amazon who will politely send more if and when we need them) and that’s one of the tenants of the Montessori approach at home. Use real stuff, but buy it inexpensively, even from a garage sale, so replacements are easy on the wallet. I also like plain white because even replacements always match (at least well enough) and we can dress things up elsewhere with place mats, napkins and tablecloths. Also, no one has to cry over who has the pink bowl ever again.
*Update, they did shatter. But not much. I think we’ve lost 2 along the way. And over Christmas, we just bought an inexpensive set of white dishes from Target, with 4 salad plates, 4 dinner plates, mugs, the works. It’s easy to mix and match that set with these and we’re restocked for a new year.
Then there are hand-me-downs. The kids’ “new” bowls are dipping bowls purchased from Pier 1 about 10 years ago, for $2 each. (Or a set of small, sturdy ramekins also works perfectly. Bonus, you can cook with them when you want to. Mini mac & cheeses, custards…)
And last, we’ve stocked the kids’ drawer with a set of metal dessert spoons for things like cereal, oatmeal, soup and ice cream. They’re just the right size to balance on the sides of tiny bowls. Otherwise it’s the smaller salad forks from our regular utensil collection, the stainless steel set that we registered for in our wedding almost five years ago now. Those forks are so sturdy and there are so many of them that it’s a perfect way to actually USE our stuff.
Speaking of using everything, these aren’t just The Kids’ plates. My husband and I use the same white salad plates for our meals too. We haven’t used regular “dinner” plates in years–because they’re huge! Eating on plates this size suits our portion size, even for adults. I save the dinner plates to use as platters, or for when company comes.
Best of all, everything the kids–and the adults–are eating from now is totally toxin-free. Plastic gear is easy to clean and amazingly durable, but these news stories about how dangerous plastic is for kids just aren’t going away. So the dishes will have to.
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I love, love, love this idea. The only problem is that my son already steals our forks and brandishes them as though they are swords, and he throws plates, even plastic ones. Still, I just might have to give this a try. You’re right, after all, about the bad news on plastic.
Ha! Do you tell him, piano, piano, Piccolo.
Good luck Francesca!
I had a new student start in my Montessori toddler community who had the habit of throwing things and was used to plastic. On his first visit to the class, he picked up our ceramic tissue box holder and threw it across the room. It was hand-painted for our class by a parent, so I wished he’d picked another item to learn on… but it did smash into pieces and we cleaned it up, and he never threw another breakable item again. At least not in my presence or at school 😀 It’s an experience that sticks with the child – a little scary to hear the noise and see the mess, and they definitely notice how quickly the adults swoop in to make sure no one gets hurt on the pieces. It makes an especially big impression if it was a dish they liked, because now it’s gone (although if they were really upset about it I would make an effort to replace the dish after a week or so). It might not be so quick and easy as it was for this child, but it really works (barring any developmental or emotional issues that might affect the matter, of course)!
I am loving reading this albeit nearly a year after you wrote it!! Sorry for coming late to the party! You all make such great points and reasons why children should absolutely be using real china and glass tableware. We are a tiny company (me and my husband) making china tableware for kids in the UK and have road tested our china plates,bowls and beakers on our two girls since they were two. So many people come up to us and say ‘oh if only you did it in plastic’. Which we won’t because we think it’s about getting kids to take responsibility for things. I LOVE the montessori way and think it really does ring true with our experiences of giving china to children at a young age. They feel like you have trusted them enough to use it and so they’re proud of themselves. Small things make a difference. Great to hear your views. Wish more people would share them x
Thank you for this post. I haven’t quite got up the courage yet to introduce real plates, but we’ve done metal silverware from the start. I wrote about introducing a fork at http://howtofeedahenry.blogspot.com/2013/01/learning-to-use-fork.html.
We’ve moved to using a sturdy glass for the little one and it seems to be going well. Last summer, I bought (adult-looking) melamine plates from Target that we all use for dinner so that we could be using the same plates, but now you’ve got me wondering if I should move back to the ceramic ones. What you say makes sense. Thanks!
It’s never too late (or early) to start! Things will break, but in each broken glass or plate is a very powerful lesson for our children!
Here’s my son at 14 months drinking from a real glass and using a porcelain plate:
http://thefullmontessori.wordpress.com/2013/04/23/show-tell/
Well said! Thanks for your note, The Full Montessori!
Just like you, I’ve read many advices against the use of melamine dinnerware. My hubby says I’m too paranoid but I’m not going to care about that. The safety of my kids is my priority.
Between metal and porcelain dinnerware, what will be your recommendation? Is there no difference at all? Or is there something else that I’m not yet aware of?
Is there anything that is eco-friendly and not hazardous as well. Melamine seems to be better than plastic, but still maybe not good enough. It’s still on the fence for us.
Hi Maroc! I totally agree, though I’m not at all an expert. We do have a set of melamine dishes for our youngest daughter now, who at 18 months has been known to throw plates like frisbees. 🙂 We’ll work our way back up to giving all the kids the real dishes when she’s out of this phase.
As she gets a little older though, around 2 years old, she will be able to understand consequences more clearly. And that’s one of the things I like about using real dishes. They break if you don’t handle them with care. The crash makes an impact for sure, BUT it’s also not the end of the world. Everyone can also see that even a big mess can be cleaned up and life goes on.
Anyway, thanks for your note!
I know this post is 3 years old but I just wondered whether you realized that one of the links you posted as your reason for abandoning plastic dishes (weird news stories about BPA) actually shows BPA poses no harm at all.
I am a Montessori mom as well and love using real dishes so that my kids can learn to care for and respect their things.
Hi Liz! Thanks for your note. I only meant that stories about BPA just kept coming up with so much frequency, with so many questions about health issues hat I finally cried uncle. That’s why I said “weird stories” instead if hitting harder or suggesting that BPA had been proven to cause harm.
Hope that makes more sense and thanks for reaching out.