I’M TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH INSPIRED BY the lovely stories and excellent advice in this book, French Kids Eat Everything. We’ve tried a few recipes, and had success (thank you Karen!). In the meantime, more advice from the smartest family cook on two continents…
What’s been the hardest part of sticking to the French way of eating now that you’re back in North America?
Great question! It’s the question we grappled with when we moved back to North America.
Many of the French Food Rules work anywhere. For example, the variety rule (Don’t serve the same dish more than once per week) is easy to follow.
But the ‘no random snacking’ rule is harder to follow. Explaining that you have a ‘once per day’ family rule snacking rule works with older children, but is harder with younger children. So we’ve managed to stick to our ‘one snack per day’ rule at home. However, this doesn’t mean that this rule is a rigid regulation. The French Food Rules are healthy eating routines, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ‘break the rules’ once in a while! So when the kids are over at their friend’s houses, they might have an extra snack, and we don’t make a fuss about it, because we know that they know what a healthy eating routine is.
Have your girls started to learn how to cook? If so, what kinds of dishes do they like to make (or help make)?
They love to make anything we’re making, and they recently each designed a menu and helped me make it. My older daughter, now 8: chose beet salad as the starter, ratatouille and roasted fish as the main course, salad, and fresh nectarines for dessert! And the younger daughter chose cherry tomato salad, fish soup (the bouillabaisse recipe in the book), and chocolate mousse.
We’re going to try some of the recipes in your book; which one surprised you most by becoming a family favorite?
Cauliflower casserole: who knew that cauliflower could be so yummy? And the chocolate mousse – it is so deceptively simple, but actually I now much prefer it to the North American version.
Are your daughters’ Canadian friends picky eaters? And how do you respond when they’re eating together at your house?
Some are, and some aren’t. We don’t make a big fuss about our eating habits (for example, I don’t praise my kids too openly). I invite all visitors to taste the things we’re eating, with no pressure. I am proud to say that I have never had a child refuse to try my spinach puree (a recipe in the book), and most have (often to their surprise) enjoyed it–although some ate more than others! Often, they’re genuinely curious—and once that they see my children are eating something, they’ll taste it (positive peer pressure works wonders!).
But I always make sure there is something that children like on the table. Teaching a child to be curious about food means gentle encouragement, in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. So no pressure!
How has conquering picky eating affected the rest of your parenting style?
Another great question! I’ve learned that how you teach your children is as important as what you teach them. The ‘slow food’ rule, for example, was a great reminder that we need to take time to enjoy simple pleasures with our children—in spite of the hectic pace of our lives.
A concrete example: as a family, we have decided not to schedule any after-school activities that conflict with our family dinner hour. This means that our kids are doing fewer extracurricular activities—but they are learning equally important skills through the time we spend together at family dinners. It’s brought us closer together as a family.
The no snacking rule is a huge departure for most American parents. They’ll all want to know this: Don’t your kids have meltdowns when they’re hungry?
We’ve found that if we have appetizing meals (with energy dense foods, so that the children feel full for longer), they actually stop craving snacks. (Note: this works for adults too!). If you don’t snack, you have more of an appetite at meals; and if you eat a proper amount of nutritious foods at those meals, you feel full for longer—and don’t crave a snack. It’s a virtuous cycle.
Because of this, the ‘no snacking’ rule is much easier to adapt to than you might think (I was very nervous about it, but found the kids adapted quite quickly!). Also: note that the French do have one (afternoon) snack per day. The ‘Food Rule’ actually prohibits random snacking.
During our afternoon snack, we have lots of nice things to eat: usually fruit, baguette and butter, and also ‘treats’ like squares of dark chocolate, or homemade cookies (but few or no processed snack foods, which actually turns out to be a big money saver!). So the kids look forward to this, and don’t feel deprived. In fact, they appreciate their snacks even more – as something to look forward to. ‘Moderation, not deprivation’ is key to the French approach.
Have you found that your eating habits have improved too? How so?
I’ve become more aware of how my children learn from their parents’ habits (good or bad). In many areas of parenting, children ‘do as we do’, and not necessarily ‘do as we say’. So I’ve become much more aware of trying to set a good example, rather than lecturing my kids about what they’re doing wrong (which I’ll admit I was prone to doing!). This means that I take the time to sit down and have a proper meal every day – no matter how busy we are.
Do you think your family will be healthier for these changes?
I think our family will be happier—because food is no longer such a source of stress or anxiety. As a happy side effect, our family will also be healthier.
But I have come to believe that ‘healthy eating’ is not something families can easily achieve by themselves. Healthy eating routines start at home, but creating a healthy food environment requires teachers, parents, caregivers, extended families, schools, teachers, governments and communities to work together. That’s why I’ve become a bit of a food activist–much to my surprise! My French Kids School Lunch Project is intended to raise some of the broader issues and incite positive change. (I was very honored to be named a Real Food Advocate for the Jamie Oliver Foundation for this work.)
The 10 rules sound very smart but if you were to suggest just one rule to a family struggling with mealtimes (picky eating, etc.) which would it be?
I would suggest Food Rule #6: You don’t have to eat it, but you do have to taste it.
Scientific research has shown that kids have to taste new foods up to a dozen times before they’ll accept to eat them. So tell your kids that they are ‘learning to like’ a specific food, serve it to them in appetizing ways in a relaxed atmosphere, and make sure to eat some and enjoy it yourself! If kids believe that they can learn to like something (rather than being told they they ‘are picky eaters’), their attitude often changes quickly. They’ll be proud of learning to like new foods – just like learning to ride a bicycle, or learning to read.
What’s your next project?
I’m already at work on a new book, which has been largely inspired by all of the amazing responses from readers—many of whom have written to me to tell me about the big changes in their children’s (and their own) eating habits. (I’ve even had adults without children write about how they were inspired to change they way they eat!) People have asked for more recipes, menu plans, and ideas—all of which will find their way into the new book, which I hope will be published next year.
Want more?
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